May 14-18

I’m writing this blog with only four days passed since the last one because I have time on Sundays to write, and that is not exactly the case during the week.

On the 14^th, I woke up at my usual time, 5-6am. I went to the clinic to get my breakfast. My supervisor is very generous and lets me use her refrigerator. I always have six bars of wheatbix, milk, and sugar. It’s not bad, although the sugar is not refined as it is in America, and therefore, not near as sweet. I pretty much blogged, wrote in my journal, and wrote letters all day while meeting and talking to patients. A lot of young boys came in and got condoms. Lunch was awesome, provided by my supervisor. We had spaghetti and I also had peanut butter and bread. There really were not that many patients that came to our clinic. It’s like that here; you can have a lot of people at once, and then no one for the rest of the day. We did have a former minister of government come in. I leave the office at 4pm to go run. I ran 6k with a few ops. It was hard and I definitely got a lot of weird looks from people. The running is great because it has so many positive aspects. It keeps me healthy, helps me deal with stress, gives me time to think, and it helps establish my presence in the community. It is a great way to meet people too! I had a good dinner and some really good talks with my host family. Then I finished the night by binging through a box of Frosted Flakes. One very important thing, I was smsing friends so much that I became dependent on it. One way I decided to stop this was by agreeing not to sms until after work and sending a picture and saying what we did during the day. I love it! It’s amazing and something to look forward to at the end of the day! 

I used my Netman, internet for my computer, on the 15^th. It was a pretty uneventful morning so I tested my Netman out. It worked slow, but is good enough for email, fb, blog, news, research. I put my return address on many envelopes. I studied family planning. I also talked to the nurses about teaching me things about the clinic during down time. I had peanut butter, bread, peas, and peaches for lunch, the first fruit and veggies I’ve had for lunch since I’ve been here. I washed my hair at my supervisor’s place too. That sounds weird, but bucket bathing and getting one’s hair clean is a challenge for me. Namibians cannot grow long hair so it is not an issue to them. After work I ran 6k without stopping! I was very excited! I met a bunch of young guys. I love my runs! My host brother was mugged at knifepoint in Rundu and it was unsettling. It took away a bit of the safety I felt in Rundu. Now, I just make sure I only go where there are people, and don’t take shortcuts like he did. I felt really bad for him; he was quite shaken. A random thought; I need to get my guitar! It’s killing me not having it. I just hope I can afford it. Anyways, the night ended with bouts of diarrhea. 

On the 16^th I focused on learning language as well as interacting with patients. It went very well and I learned a lot! The night before a guy was shot with a four to five foot arrow in a fight. I have pictures from some people who were there. It is fascinating! I felt very accomplished because I fixed my flash drive! A Namibian friend had given me a virus and hidden my files and I messed around with the computer code to fix it! Made me feel so good! It was a pretty uneventful day. I met a lot of people. I have to say that the ONLY problem I am having is that I am severely missing some of the trainees I went through training with. It is not fun, but I am thankful that everything else is fine at site. I played soccer with two of my host brothers and a neighbor. I didn’t want to run that day so it was fun to play and exercise. Later that night, I did the usual, and sat with the family and talked. 

The 17^th was an awesome day! I took my laundry to my supervisor for her cleaning lady to wash (I’m paying her because I don’t have the patience). I went to Rundu. On the way I met several youths we picked up in our car. I got lost trying to find the state hospital, but eventually found it. I met an outreach nurse who took me to meet a lot of important medical people. The most influential being the Principal Medical Officer of Kavango Region. It was quite enjoyable to speak to him and ask his opinions. I love meeting new people and making connections. I went to the grocery store after and bought supplies. I got so tired and sweaty walking from the store to the Peace Corps Office because I had some really heavy things. I was surprised to find four PCVs already there, all teachers. They are on break right now. I skyped a friend, but her kindle died and I was really sad because I had really been looking forward to skyping and talking. Anyways, it was a good thing I skyped my parents after. My parents are AMAZING! They never fail to cheer me up. They sang happy birthday to me because they won’t be able to on my actual birthday. My parents are the best things, beside God, in my life. I uploaded pictures to Facebook, blogged, and checked the news while I was there. I mailed some letters to some in-country friends (So check your mailboxes Kaitlynn and CB, if you read my post). We got back as the last light was fading from the sky. I showered at my supervisor’s place, ate food, and watched part of Hotel Rwanda. Another HIV patient died that night, and this time I was there. It hit a lot harder because I saw the face and the family. It made it real.

Yesterday, the 18^th, was such a good, refreshing day. I had some amazing conversations with my best friend here. I was supposed to go to the funeral for the guy who had died earlier in the week, but it was canceled. The lady who had died the night before was from the same family. They were both related to a co-worker at my clinic, and it was hard to see her cry. Another hard thing was that the man was in his twenties and the woman was forty or so, too young. It made me think about life and how fleeting it is. It helped me focus a bit more on the work I am doing. I was going to go for a long walk to think, but a man came in with an injury. A cow had kicked him and you could see all the way to the bone. It was the first time I saw something like that in real life. It didn’t gross me out. It was sad, but it was sooooo cool at the same time. The guy said to take some pictures, but I am debating whether to put them up. After that I spent the rest of the day at my supervisor’s place. It’s like an oasis. She has a really nice tv system and a bunch of awesome American channels like Discovery, NatGeo, and others. I also love watching BBC and Al-Jazeera. Eight prisoners from the prison came for treatment and I ended up speaking to my friend, a police officer for around two hours. It was great! I cannot wait for my friendships to develop. I almost went with them to watch the police soccer team play against some local village teams. I left around 6pm for home. It was a good day!  

Part 3 May 7-13

The 7^th was Swearing-in Day, the day we would officially be Peace Corps Volunteers. The morning was good, although a bit boring because we had more sessions. We then had lunch and went to change. I was excited to wear my business suit and new shirt and tie for the first time. It looked great! Some of my other friends had traditional dresses, some looked funny, some looked awesome, some outfits looked better as the day went on (You know who you are haha). We got to meet the Namibian Prime Minister! I also introduced myself to the U.S. Ambassador Wanda Nesbitt. During the ceremony, the Prime Minister had some really amazing words about the hate between whites and blacks and how things have gotten better. I wish I had videotaped it.

 We were sworn in and then one person from each language group gave a speech in their language. Everyone did well! I was so proud of how I did, although I always want to do better. I got some amazing encouraging words from many people, including the Prime Minister, the Ambassador, my trainer, and many others. The Prime Minister said “You’re a natural politician. I expect to hear about you; you have confidence.” It was so validating! I made sure to take pictures with both the PM and Ambassador. After the ceremony, I took pictures with my host family. After that, I changed and went to the pool to talk with my best friend. I had been looking forward to this for ages, and we ended up talking for hours. We ended up at the bar after that I went to bed really late that night. 

The next morning, the 8^th, was move out day. I said goodbye to people and left. It was very sad for me because I got so close to a few people. The ride to my site was fine, but long. I had fish and pap (porridge that has the consistency of mashed potatoes). I sat and spoke with my family for a few hours. I was so tired I could have gone to bed at 630, but I waited until 8. One note, my latrine they made is so much nicer than I expected! 

I slept ten hours that night! I started a shopping list because I needed a lot of things for my hut. It was surreal to wake up and realize was here for good. On a random note, I am tithing here, but there is a lot of tithe to give and I don’t want to come in and just unload lots of money on a church. Have to figure something out. Anyways, it was a public holiday, but I went to the clinic because I needed to charge my electronics. I found out one amazing thing; my host mother, the head lady, has a car to run errands for the villagers. It goes to the main city every single day and I can get rides for free!! That is extremely valuable because I won’t have to hitchhike to the city! It makes me feel much less isolated!

I charged my electronics and watched movies for several hours with some friends. My Namibian friends were randomly watching a video from Nick Voyacic, an inspirational Christian speaker. I felt it was so random, but the video was as if I was speaking about my thoughts on life. It was such a wonderful moment and it describes my views on life and why I am so happy and positive all the time, and why I love people so much. At lunch, we had amazing pap, beans, and sauce from the security guard. One thing I have learned is that the people here are so generous, beyond belief! It makes me feel good. 

Later, I sat with the family around the fire and had dinner and then showed them pictures of America. It was great! Continuing the generosity trend, my family delivered a tray of eggs, bread, and hot tea in the morning. It was very nice! I have a little host brother whom I have come to really enjoy. He is teaching me Rukwangali and I am teaching him English. One lesson I have learned at work: Never attach your flash drive or hard drive to a person’s computer in this country without having them scan for viruses first and scanning their drive if they plug it into your computer. I got a really bad Trojan horse virus, but thank God my anti-virus system, Microsoft Security Essentials, caught it. It did hide my files though, so I need to speak to our IT guy.

I learned more lessons too. Never leave my hut without money, my id, my passport papers, and don’t bring a bag full of electronics. My supervisor said I could go to Rundu with her. Halfway there she turned around and said “How are you getting back?” I was like…hmmm…guess I’ll have to figure something out. I wasn’t too worried, but I had to borrow some money. I went to the Peace Corps Office and there were four other volunteers there already! We went to the open market for lunch. I love the open market’s food. It’s amazing. I went back to the office after that to skype and use the internet. I was nervous about finding my way back to site, but God provided. As I was looking around, my host mother’s car was waiting to take people back to the village! It was such a relief! The trip back was interesting. I argued with a young woman for thirty minutes, saying that I do not want to get married now and that I do not want to have children, as she tried convince to do both. It was funny, but I eventually won! Fyi, this is a common occurrence. I went to bed soon after we got back. 

The 11^th was my major shopping day in Rundu. I felt really bad because I am not a good shopper and I spent a lot of money, but I got a lot of necessities. I picked up a cell phone battery and a Netman, so I can try out the internet. Anyways, it was a busy day, but very enjoyable. I met another PCV in the office, Ryan. The ride home was good. I found my face was sunburned later. 

As I was sitting under the thatch roof of the eating hut, I felt dirt falling on me and heard rustling above me. I remembered a story from some other PC Namibia Volunteers about a spitting cobra being in their thatch roof and waking them up at night. I looked up and saw a long object and face slither out from the thatch. Well, I freaked out a bit, just to have a lizard fall on me. Anti-climatic huh? I ate dinner, talked for a bit, then went to bed. 

I had to use the restroom during the night and it is really creepy with no light! Anyways, I went to the Clinic to charge stuff before church. One random note, I love not being judged for how I look or what I do here. People don’t care if my hair is messed up, or if I am taking pictures. It’s an awesome sense of freedom. I went to an Evangelic Lutheran Church ran by a layperson named Vilho. He was very nice. I greeted everyone and introduced myself to this 30 person church. Church here is so simple, but so real. The only instrument one has is one’s voice. It is hard to stay awake though because the services are longer. 

Later that day I went for a run. It was a bit rough. It’s also very funny because Namibians don’t exercise like Americans do. I got many shocked looks from people. While I was running, my supervisor pulled up and said she had been looking for me. She wanted to take me to the local police station to meet the commanders, wardens, and police officers. I was in my Under Armor and very sweaty, but I couldn’t pass up this valuable opportunity. I am so glad I did go! It was so fun and amazing! I met about 20 police officers and the Station Commander and Second in Command. They were all very nice and impressed with my language skills. We got back to my home and I was famished. The food tasted so good! 

Monday the 13^th was my first real day at work. It is not like America, though. Life is slow and not very busy. As a PCV, we are not even supposed to really work for three months because we need to learn the language and build relationships. So I just blogged, did computer work, wrote letters, and listened to music. The only stress I have here is missing other PCVs. I was so stressed because of this; it was awful. My mom or dad sent me a Bible verse as encouragement. Isaiah 26:3-4- “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal”. One of the issues I am having here is trusting God, and trusting those who He has put in my path. Anyways, I worked something out and felt a bit better.  

Earlier that day, a man had come in for medical attention. It was not until later that we found out he died from HIV/AIDS. He had defaulted on his ARV’s. It was surreal. Guess I need to get used to it. Some PC staff came by later and dropped off my much needed water filters. I got a ride back to my hut with them. Dinner was good; I am constantly amazed by the generosity of my family. The head lady said that I will eat dinner for free while I am there! That is amazing and, because I am bad at cooking, it is really appreciated. I tried to offer money several times, but there is no way they are letting me pay. This family has accepted me as their own and they even call me their son or brother.

As we were sitting around the fire, I was given the opportunity to educate three young guys about HIV/AIDS. I taught them how to use a condom; dispelled myths; convinced one or two of them to get tested when our clinic gets the tests in the next few weeks; told them how HIV started. One of the myths was that they believed that there were worms in the lubricant on the condom. (Sorry if this is too much details: this stuff is my job now.) Anyways, I went home and the head lady had bought a large Coke and Fanta for me! I felt so loved! Fyi, soda is called “cool drink” here. After that, I went to bed. Another random note, I am keeping a work journal about my interactions. I write down people’s names and contact info, how many people I’ve talked to, and what I did (education or w/e). 

Definitely pray for my work here. I also need to learn to trust God and the people He has put in my path. I am not used to just letting a friendship “be” without constantly maintaining it. Other than that, just pray for the normal stuff. Things are going great here! 

Part Two April 30-May 6

I started feeling sick the morning of the 30^th. I started taking Airbourne right away. It was a great day of class, except that I felt really sick at the end of class. It was unfortunate because I was supposed to cook for the families that night. I felt so sick I had to ask them to finish what I had not. I fell asleep until they called me out for dinner. I made spaghetti, garlic bread, and ice cream and it was actually pretty good! I also snagged some garlic bread for some of my friends as a little surprise gift.

I felt so sick the next morning, May 1^st, that I stayed home from training, something I haven’t done in years. It was unfortunate because it was the last study day before the Language Proficiency Interview (the final oral language exam) and we had four hours of language. But I wanted to be better because we were leaving for Windhoek in a few days and I had really been looking forward to it. I rested, took airbourne, facebooked, and drank a lot of water. It was a bit discouraging that only two people from my group texted me to see if I was okay. 

I went to class after lunch, feeling much better. I studied language and then we all went to our end-of-training celebration dinner. I was very mellow and ended up talking to my best friend the entire time. The food was good and so was the movie. We had secret buddies that we were supposed to encourage or buy little gifts throughout training. I wrote notes because I did not know what my person liked. I did not know the impact these notes had. My secret buddy cried when she said that the notes meant so much to her because she was going through a difficult time with issues at home and language troubles. I was shocked because I had felt so cheap. It just goes to show you that I never know what small actions can lead to in another person’s life. 

The next day, May 2^nd, was our shopping trip to Windhoek. I was feeling better, but the ride wrecked me. We went to Peace Corps Headquarters until lunch for training. I also visited the doctor. One thing that our country director said was that he is not a fan of the macho idea that Peace Corps Volunteers feel they have to stick out the full two years, even if it sucks. Well, I am one of those people. Even if it is miserable, I believe God has me here for a reason, and that he wants me to grow.

I hung out with Crystal, Kellie, Kaitlynn, Nicole, and Cherie for the afternoon while they shopped. Random tangent: chivalry. In this day and age, chivalry is a hotly contested subject. I did not know how others in my group would react, but I do it for those who I think will be receptive. I love carrying my girlfriend’s stuff, out of chivalrous nature, but also because I just enjoy doing it, even for some of my guy friends or my dad. I open doors for people. I always walk on the curb-side when with a girlfriend on the street. I always wait to go last for nearly everything, such as getting food, even if I’m the guest. Anyways, my girlfriends here tend to be pleasantly surprised by it, which makes me feel great, but also a little sad that most guys don’t stuff like that for other girls, or even other guys. 

We had lunch at a restaurant in the mall. I wasn’t happy because they did not have what I had asked for and the replacement meal was not good. The guy also overcharged me by $30. The peanut butter toffee milkshake was amazing though! We saw giraffes on the way home from Windhoek. I did not study language, although the language test was the next day. I just did not have the motivation or energy. I went to Alicia’s and had dinner and texted one of my friends. I ended the night in an extremely good mood!

I woke up early on May 3^rd to study a little bit. We had free study before the test, but I really did not feel like studying. I was in a “I’m gonna do how I’m gonna do” mood, and I also wanted to encourage a friend about her test, which she was nervous about. I listened to her test and she did sooooo well! Lol, I felt so proud! I went out while she was testing and got her and a few of my friends some small gifts as encouragement. They loved the gifts, which made me really happy! My language test went okay. I did not think I did that well, but I didn’t care because I was done with training!! Everyone was in such a good mood! It was one of my best days. We had a hilarious last session with my Rukwangali group. Our teacher taught one of the girls how to dance. Later that day, they gave awards for language. To my utter shock, I scored the 3^rd highest out of everyone and 2^nd highest out of the Bantu languages. I was so proud. I went with four of my closest friends to eat. I just sat back and basked in the sense of freedom, and the friendship with these girls. I felt that, with training over, I could finally have normal friendship with them.

I skyped Mom and Dad on the 4^th. Today was my laundry day. I watched movies and smsed my best friend here. We had such a good time! Other than that, I just packed everything.

I skyped two friends the next morning, May 5^th. The van showed up and hour early to pick me up! I was sad because I did not get to say goodbye to my host mom in the way I wanted to. Anyways, we went to the training center and I had a good talk with one of my friends. The ride to Windhoek was great! I was so excited for some freedom and the four star resort we were staying at for three days. We had to wait for three hours for our luggage so show up, which was irritating because we wanted to spend a lot of time at the pool. However, it finally got here and the pool was awesome! We had dinner at 630 and it was amazing! One thing I noticed about the overall conference was that most of my group, Group 37, was not mingling with the other groups. Only I and few others were mingling. We hung out at the bar for a while, but then I went to watch a movie with a friend. After the movie we went next door to the party.

The next morning, the 6^th, was the first day of the conference. I had breakfast. Then, we went to the conference room. I was nervous about the flash mob, but it went really well! The sessions went fine, nothing too boring. In the afternoon we had a session on malaria. We had lunch and then me and two of my friends hung out with some of the other crazy, but awesome, Peace Corps Volunteers. We ended up in a room with about 17 volunteers and it was so great just to relax and observe.

Part 1 April 23-29

Wow, it has been three weeks since I last blogged! Things have just been up and down and all over the place. Also, one tends to lose a bit of motivation, but I hope to write three blogs, one for each week I didn’t write. 

This week was just another week of training. We had a sexual harassment training; it was good but I was definitely sleepy. My friendships have really started to blossom. The 24^th was a pretty awesome day! My language class with Thenga, our Rukwangali trainer, went very well. I slept at lunch and read. We had a session on OVC (Orphans and Vulnerable Children) and nutrition. The nutrition part was useful to me. Later, we practiced our speeches for swearing-in. This was the first practice and I was extremely excited. I love public speaking and feel it is one of my strengths. It went so well! The trainers gave some really great encouragement. I still wanted to practice more, though, because I stumbled over some words. 

Today was movie and pizza day, and I was very excited for it. Some of our event committee people ordered pizza from the Garden Café and set up a projector. We watched “The Gods Must Be Crazy.” I didn’t really pay attention though because I wanted to talk to people while watching the movie. It worked out in my favor when we had to switch venues. I went outside with one of my friends and we stargazed and talked. It was amazing! It felt, for the first time, that I was back in the states with friends for a night out on the town. 

The 25^th had some rough spots, but it was still a good day! I was so tired and exhausted. Language class was good. Got in a discouraged mood, and then negative things seemed to roll in, one after another. We were supposed to practice our flash mob that we planned to do at the All-Volunteer Conference, but I was really distracted. A comment was also made about my dancing; it came at a bad time, so I didn’t participate in this session. Later that day we went to the OVC (Orphans and Vulnerable Children) shelter. I had one of those really touching moments when this little boy latched onto my hand and held it during the entire tour. He kept trying to grab other female volunteer’s hands and force our hands together, the little matchmaker. The OVC visit was good! However, funding has been cut so they are having to rely on private donations. 

Later that day I went to my friend’s place and relaxed. On the way back, a huge, stupid dog chased me. I look back on it now and it is really funny about what I said. I was really nervous about this dog because it was big and because my neighborhood back in the US had a lot of stray guard dogs. I, comically, kept my knife with me, just in case, but I was worried that I might get in trouble if the dog attacked ME and I stabbed it. Haha I was worried the dog would be the victim because apparently, this dog is known as a biter, yet nothing had been done about him. I was texting one of my friends the entire time. I was serious about what I was saying, but she and another good friend of mine, were laughing hardcore together (Yes, I’m naming names Crystal and Kaitlynn)! I didn’t realize it sounded so comical until I looked back at my texts. I felt somewhat foolish. My pals are never going to let me live that down! After that, I went to bed because I was so tired.

The 26^th was the hardest day of my time in Namibia. I woke up extremely stressed. This sucky day was mainly due to some group dynamics amongst the trainees. People were irritable; issues were popping up. I was really down. There were several factors that made things worse: I was waking up at 3am or other odd hours every day for weeks; I was not eating as I should have, which was my fault entirely; I was on medication for my Coxsachie virus as well as the malaria medicine. I felt so discouraged that I was physically sick. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back to my host home, but I knew I needed to get away to think. I got permission and left until after lunch. During this time I did a lot of thinking. I won’t go into details about exactly what I was thinking, just the solutions I came up with. First, I identified the issues; then I addressed each issue. Lessons I learned: Eat more; Sleep more; wait for medications to be done with. Some of the other personal issues were taken care of by talking to people. I also began to look for more support systems. 

One of the overall realizations was that I need to rely more on God and not on other people or myself. I believe that God has a reason for everything. My two favorite verses kept popping into my head. Philippians 4:4-Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice. Philippians 4:13-I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Also, it was really encouraging that a few of my good friends texted me to check on me. Christian music, good food, and relaxation really helped me that day, too. I went back to class and solved one of my issues right then. I started to feel really good. Later that night I went to a talent show with my host family at their church. It was hilarious! I was in a sky high mood and so happy that I stayed up until one. I also stayed up that late because I had to make Rice Krispy treats for American Cultural Day. Definitely failed at getting more sleep that night, but it was worth it. 

The 27^th was American Cultural Day, where we would put on a big meal and entertainment for all of our host families. I was in a really good mood. The Cultural Day was fine, but nothing special. The food was good. Later, I went shopping for food for the dinner that I was supposed to make on Monday. I spent a lot of money, but I didn’t care; these two families have done amazing things for me. For the rest of the day I hung out with two of my closest friends here. We went to the Damara Unity Conference and were introduced to hundreds of members of the Damara political system. It was so fun! Later, I watched some movies with a friend. The 28^th was just a relaxing day at home.

The 29^th was a great day! My best friend, closest friends, and everyone else were in a really happy mood! It was partially because it was our last Monday ever for training. One week until we were done! We went to the hospital later, although it was a bit uneventful. It seems that people are never expecting us so we take them by surprise. Later, I went to Alicia’s for a final dinner that she cooked. She is an amazing cook and her food was wonderful (makes me hungry just thinking about it now). Later, I Skype cooked with my mom because I had to cook for twelve people the next day and I am a terrible cook.