June 22-28

I went to Rundu around 930 on the 22^nd,  and walked to NamPost to mail letters. I went to Pick n Pay and bought my normal stuff. I have fallen in love with my little treasure foods I get. I usually buy a huge glazed raisin bread, about the size of a small person’s head, two bags of Simba Chips, and these cookies called lemon crèmes. I went back to the office and found five other PCVs there. I was really sad to find that they had all come in the night before and stayed at Gio’s place, and they wouldn’t be staying tonight. I met one of their Namibian friends who seemed pretty cool. I got a lot of stuff done on the computer because all of them left and I had the office to myself. I talked about with mom and Dad through skype. I told them how hard it has been to get the motivation to make my own work. As Health PCVs, we have zero structure, and it is hard to get out and find something. It is also because we deal with the added stresses of dealing with cultural stresses, feelings of isolation, loneliness, etc. A lot of the time I just want to go into my hut and be by myself. My mom and dad suggested I make a work schedule and stick to it. It seemed like a good idea, so I decided to do it on Monday. I watched Youtube videos for the rest of the day (I miss being able to watch random youtube videos). I was supposed to get my hair cut by another PCV, but she didn’t show up, which made me a bit sad. I walked back and forth between Gio’s a few times because he was out and I had to pick up the key. It was getting dark and I was worried about getting mugged while carrying my bag with my laptop and stuff in it. I ended up watching Big Bang Theory and ate my food. Being alone at Gio’s, along with other factors, I realized that I was feeling extremely lonely. I had been in Rundu by myself almost all day, and all the PCVs left Rundu or were out. I came to the realization that I don’t come to Rundu for the amenities so much as the people. It also made me realize I should stay in my village more.

I didn’t sleep well at all, but I woke up and had an amazing conversation with a PCV I hadn’t met before. He gave soooo much advice and words of wisdom. Here are some random quotes. “You can give money, but it doesn’t last. I give two years of my life (for Peace Corps) and it’s timeless.” “Enjoy your youth. If you want to take a trip (after PC), I say take it. Spend the money because you may never get to again.” “You don’t need to suffer to serve (in regard to living in a hut or a modern house in PC). I feel happier when I teach in air conditioned rooms and I teach better. I feel better when I have a full belly.” He also had some interesting things to say about Christianity, although I don’t necessarily agree with what he said. It was thought provoking however. “Give 10% of your time, not money. You can fast on anything, not just food.” I don’t agree with him that Christians should give time INSTEAD of money, but I do think that giving 10% of your time, IN ADDITION to your tithe, makes sense. Another awesome quote was “I may be an accountant, but we’re all accountants of time, so use it well.” He told me about an interesting experience he had with a Namibian lady. She threw a piece of trash on the floor and he asked her why she did that. She said “Because white people aren’t in charge anymore and we don’t have to do what they say.” Wow, that is crazy, but I do understand why she thinks that. The PCV also gave me some other travel advice. All in all, it was an amazing conversation. I went to the PC office after that. I had seen one of the PCVs buy hair clippers and I was excited. I thought I would buy some too and see if I could cut my own hair. I went to the store, but decided to wait and try his clippers out when I would see him the next weekend. I went out to a really pretty lodge and looked out over Angola while smsing my best friend here. God’s been putting a lot of things on my heart lately, but the biggest theme is needing to trust him, but also that I need to force myself to do things I don’t want to do. I went back to the PC office and had an amazing skype conversation with my best guy friend, Aaron, who is in Germany. We talked about how you can be a Christian, but never fully trust God. Only when you trust God can you truly fill that “god sized hole in everyone’s heart.” Aaron gave me some good questions that he asks himself. “Am I living by a ‘just saved by grace’ mentality or a ‘new creation’ mentality?” “Also, I give to others so freely, but do I know how to receive from Christ?” I told Aaron I was afraid of failing and he asked me “What would happen if you failed?” I didn’t know what to say.

On the morning of the 24^th I woke up, prayed, and had quiet time. I almost decided to stay back and work from my hut, but decided to go to the clinic. I started working on my weekly work schedule. It was really fun and encouraging. I contacted some schools about visitation and set up dates to come observe. Then, I studied language. Later, I sat outside with my co-workers and read the Namibian newspaper. I wrote two more letters to friends back home. I called one of the local teachers later and she told me she would not be around the next day. I called another PCV that night, but her cell phone service is awful. Overall, it was an awesome day.

On the 25^th I woke up, prayed, and had quiet time. I went to the clinic, but my milk was frozen so I had pb and bread. I really want to make friends here with girls as well as recruit a female counterpart, but I don’t know what is culturally acceptable. It’s something I’ll just have to learn as time goes by. Because my plans fell through for the day, I was feeling extremely stressed, and somewhat fearful of having another unproductive day, when I was making such an effort to do good work. I just prayed and had to trust God that things would work out. I went to the school with my counterpart and God really came through. I felt more comfortable with the teachers than I have ever felt before. My counterpart and I went and spoke to some boys and he was amazing. He was so good with them! I’m really excited to work with him. While I was there I tried to fix the internet, but there is something wrong with the router or dish. I went to the library and checked it out. While I was in the library, I was embarrassed when I called a teach by another teacher’s name…because my counterpart told me the wrong name. Also, while in the library my counterpat pointed out 7 venomous snakes on a snake chart that he had seen in the area. I hate snakes. I went and observed a teacher’s classes. It was awesome! He is really good with students. We went back to the clinic and ate lunch. Fyi, I finished a 400 gram jar of peanut butter in two days…I have a bad addiction J. I patched bicycle tires for the next few hours with my co-workers. It was really fun! Later, at dinner, I found out that Namibians treat oil as a standalone food. I was forking out some tomatoes to put on my rice, when my host mother asked “Do you not like oil?”

The 26^th was by far the best day of work I have had since I have been in Namibia. It was so good that it was fun! I wore a tie and a long-sleeved shirt because I was visiting a secondary school with my counterpart. I found out that the patches didn’t work on the bikes. It was quite disappointing. I began what my counterpart and I were told was a 10 kilometer (6.4 mi) bike ride. Namibians seem to be bad at judging distance because it was 18 kilometers (almost 11 mi)!!!! It was not easy I must say. I arrived sweating profusely. Next time, I am wearing workout clothes and will change there. We got there about 9am and my teacher friend took us around to a few classes. We met several teachers as well as other staff. They were absolutely wonderful and so welcoming! I found out later that the principal was really excited to have us come. They had a PCV at the school until March. We went to a pre-primary class where the adorable kids sang songs for us. We also sang happy birthday to a little girl. We stayed in my teacher friend’s class for the rest of the day. We were given the chance to introduce ourselves to 8 different classes. The students always went crazy with awe and happiness when I spoke Rukwangali to them.  They liked the jokes I made. In some classes, Victor, the teacher I was observing, gave the learners the chance to stand up and introduce themselves. I also asked them to tell me what they dreamed of doing. They seemed to be surprised that I asked them. I always love asking this question because many people do not ever get the chance to dream. The students said they wanted to be lawyers, nurses, history and art teachers, pilots, engineers, and a headman. I did find it a bit strange that only girls said they liked playing netball (similar to basketball), and only boys said they liked playing soccer. I got the chance to talk to the students about health, America, career guidance, and HIV/AIDs. I talked about how poverty is a root cause of risky behavior. As a health PCV, people in the world tend to think that “Young people are going to have sex anyways. Just give them a condom.” I think that condoms are okay, if they are the last line of prevention. Condoms don’t address the root causes. I have learned that poverty is the root cause of a lot of risky behavior. I have learned this throughout life and especially lately, as the world begins to realize that investment (jobs) is better than aid. Even a very influential medical professional in the Kavango Region told me so. If people believed and had hope that they could do something with their lives and weren’t “dying” of boredom in their villages, they would not engage in risky behavior as much. The current mindset seems to be “All I’m going to do is stay in this village and do nothing for the rest of my life. Why not just have sex and make life more fun.” Some might find this controversial, but the world is slowly beginning to realize this. One can even see in the last few months, how investment is the answer, not aid. Oxfam, a well-reputed non-profit even wrote a paper about it investment versus aid. Anyways, the students saw the point of what I was saying. By the way, my friend, Victor, is awesome! He has been teaching for 14 years and loves his job and his life. He speaks 10 languages and understands 13. The students seem to adore him. We went to his place, which, although it is a hut, is extremely modern inside, with Cable TV, a fridge, and everything. He fed us amazing rice and sausage. We had amazing talks about strengths and challenges of KK. Strengths: Adult literacy classes; team teaching; teachers use English; teamwork; female and male learner and teacher gets involved or watches both netball and soccer; amazing work environment; great work culture; excellent relationship with community. Victor works closely with community, headman, and regional councilor. They have done many things. They have gotten security guards and resources through letter writing alone. I had such a fun and amazing time talking to Victor over lunch. I was extremely animated as was Victor. I found out he watches soccer every day. I love soccer! Hopefully we can watch some soccer sometime. I appreciate him so much. I felt like he was my friend and we could hang out. I felt included. I felt loved and respected. Everyone knew about the other PCV. He and Victor were really good friends/colleagues. Apparently, the PCV taught two classes, but did a lot of computer classes. I was ecstatic when I found out they had a computer lab and no teacher for it. They also don’t have a Lifeskills teacher. Victor told me about one of the reasons his school is so good. “Education is three legged pot: Parents, teachers, learners. Without one, the pot will fall over.” Later on we watched the students play soccer. We left around 4pm. The ride was really hard because of my clothes, the leaky tires, and my seat kept sliding down. We stopped to buy snacks on the way. I have become addicted to a few different types of cookies here, lemon crème, custard, and a few others. I went and bucket bathed and then had dinner, Mahangu and tasty cabbage. I got news that day that I did not get onto the Volunteer Support Network, something I had really wanted. However, I didn’t feel that bad because I am trusting God more. If he wanted me on it, I would have been. Later that night I finished season 1 of 24 (the TV series).

I have been failing at quiet time. There is a learning curve to knowing how to listen to God. I decided not to go to the other school because my body was so tired from the 36 kilometer (22 mi) bike ride the day before. I am going to buy new tires and a bicycle repair kit most likely. I wrote some letters to a few friends. Then I taught my counterpart how to do community mapping. It was really exciting and went very well. I read about lifeskills. I showered after work and read. After dinner I taught my counterpart how to play UNO. He won 3-2 games. He really enjoyed it. I went to bed early, but woke up around 930. I had some of the worst nightmares of my life. I thought there was a black mamba snake by my head. I felt something slither in my lethargy. I slowly moved my pillow to protect myself. All the while my adrenaline was going, my heart was pounding, and I was afraid. There was nothing there. I smsed a friend for a while, but I was sweating so much. I also had another really awful nightmare.

The 28^th was destined to be an awesome start to an awesome weekend! It was our 4^th of July PCV weekend celebration. We were all going to another PCV’s site from Friday until Sunday. I woke up and packed. The car ride to Rundu was good. I just read the entire time. By the way, I’m on book 3 of the Harry Potter series. I bought my customary Raisin Bread and Simba Chips, as well as Cadbury’s Top Deck Chocolate (Mint). I skyped my friend Crystal for a few minutes. I met a World Teach Volunteer who was going with us to Divundu. She had just come to Namibia a month ago, and only to Rundu two weeks ago. I left for Divundu with five other PCVs around 230. The ride was a little cramped, but not bad. We got to the site around 5pm. I couldn’t believe how beautiful this PCV’s site was. It’s a camp and it has really nice bungalows. The weather was awesome! The site is literally next to the Kavango River. There was a cooking building and a big outdoor dining area, as well as a big bonfire. There were 4^th of July decorations. One of the most exciting things was that the PCVs who normally cook are amazing at what they like to do! I had many peanut butter cookies right when I got there. We hung out for several hours and then had tasty soup and AMAZING, buttery bread. There were 19 of us that night. It was so memorable to hang out in the kitchen with a bunch of PCVs and sing to the music someone had brought. After we ate, we had actual smores, but instead of graham crackers, we had Marie biscuits. They tasted almost like a graham cracker. I ate so many smores that I barely had enough room to eat the brownies. I went to bed around 1130.

June 16-21

I'm changing the day I post from Sunday morning to Saturday morning because I have internet. So this post is one day less than normal.

I got up feeling pretty stressed that morning of the 16^th. I went to the SuperSpar with some other PCVs and bought something called a ham and cheese tramazini. This sandwhich is huge. Most PCVs can only eat a quarter of one, but I was so hungry, and can eat so much in general, I ate a half, and could have eaten a whole one. It was delicious. I was pretty down this morning, but things got better. I walked with 7 other people in our training group to get a ride back to our villages. It was very nice of the police to stop and offer to take us to the roadblock to find rides for us in the cars they checked. It was funny to cram 8 people in the back of the paddy wagon police car. We waited for only an hour until the police found 3 of us a ride with a well-off Portoguese businessman and his Angolan police driver. He works for the money exchange was on his way to Rundu to see if it had potential as a place to do business. He was very kind and gave us food when we stopped! The ride was a little uncomfortable due to the huge hiking backpack I had I my arms, but I was so thankful for the ride. After I got home I ate pasta, mixed veggies, and coke. I ate so much peanut butter from new jumbo jar too. Then I went to bed.

I woke up on the 17^th in a pretty good mood. I received my letters from my good friend’s second grade class! It was wonderful to read their letters and enjoy the artwork. I started to write my reply to them. Fyi, I am doing a program called Worldwise Schools, where I correspond with students back in the US. I am doing it with my former 6^th grade teacher and a friend from college. If you’re interested, let me know! It’s a really simple program, but is great exposure and enjoyable for me! The 17^th wasn’t a good day for me overall though. I was quite distracted. I went to bed really early.

I did not sleep well that night. I got up and prayed and then walked to the clinic. It was the first day of National Immunization Day and it was extremely busy. I gave between 60-70 kids Vitamin A. It is in oil form and has to be squeezed into the mouth. I caused one child to cry and one child to stop crying because I was white. It was somewhat comical. Children don’t see white people in my area. Other than that, this day was pretty awful. I ended up leaving work early and going to my hut. Then, I went and my host brother consoled me. We went on a 8 kilometer walk after that, which was helpful. I’ll leave it at that.

I woke up feeling awful the morning of the 19^th and prayed so hard. I asked God to let my devotions speak to me. To my amazement, the devotions was exactly what I needed to hear! The scripture reading for it was Lamentations 3:25-33-“The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him. It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust—there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.” I had never needed to hear this so much in my life. It was amazing to see God work and speak to me like that. Other events transpired that entire day. It’s all personal stuff and has nothing to do with my site or being in Namibia. God is just bringing some really painful person issues to the surface. This was definitely the most painful day of my life, but I coped. It’s amazing how you feel so close to God when your mind tricks you into thinking no one is there for you. I knew my time in PC would probably bring a lot of issues out of me and it has done so already. It hurts, but I am so thankful for it and dearly want it. I want to learn to have to trust God in both the GOOD times and the bad. I want to grow so much. I know I’ll probably have several times where I hurt during these next two years, but, with God’s help, I will do it! Later that day, I remembered that I have so much to be thankful for. The rest of the day was hard, but good. My best friend, however, was attacked by three large dogs. One of them bit her. She had been terrified, but she wasn’t severely hurt. I wish I had been there though.

On the 20^th, I woke up at 430, which seems to be my normal time lately. I facebooked mom for a bit. I prayed too. One new thing I started to do on this day and want to continue is praying, but then leaving an amount of time to try and listen to God. I have never tried to listen because I have a hard time believing that my thoughts won’t be mistaken for God speaking to me. But, I have never tried. My mom gave me some advice, but she cautioned that it’s a “learning process.” It definitely is. I think sooooo much more than most people and I am extremely energetic. The problem with this first day was that the position I prayed in made me fall asleep. I sat in bed for a bit after that because it was so cold. On a random topic; I have become addicted to peanut butter. I ate a JUMBO sized container of it in 6 days. The weird thing is I have gained zero pounds, even though I mainly eat carbohydrates here. It is getting a bit expensive however. I asked for some advice on facebook and got a lot of responses. However, it was funny to see some suggestions. One person, who apparently doesn’t know I’m in Namibia, said to go to Fresh and Easy (a health food store) and buy hummus. Neither one of those is in Namibia I am pretty sure. I found some more Christians in PC Namibia! It was really exciting! Today I went on a walk with a co-worker to check if all the children had been immunized. We went farther into the bush than I have gone before. For the first time I felt isolated. It was a bit scary to be honest. I also saw such poverty. It made me sad. I saw a little girl with flies all over her and hundreds more on her food. As a health PCV this freaked me out because of all the disease she can get from the flies. I saw a mentally ill child just looking at us. I also saw a mentally ill woman rocking back and forth and talking to herself. The sad part was that she had a child cradled in her arms. It was interesting, and somewhat shocking, to hear a Namibian say that the police should come chain her and force her to go to the doctor. Some of the good things about the day were the adorable puppies that were at some of the houses, a patch of random beautiful flowers, and a random huge cactus. I definitely lost some of my ignorance today. I did feel a little hopeless that I could ever do anything to help these people. The saying “ignorance is bliss” is so true sometimes. The enormity of the problem made me want to run back to my ignorance. I asked my counterpart about classes and wealth. He said “You can tell by looks who is in what class. You can categorize. Most cannot afford education and they quit at grades 5-7 due to financial constraint.” My counterpart made us pick up a really heavy weight made out of rebar and cement. I felt as if I was in the Flintstones. I was still dealing with some pretty heavy emotional stuff this day, but I talked to a few people and all of a sudden, I seemed to wake up from a stupor. Anyways, after work, I went home and ate dinner. I told them about American Independence Day. They were shocked that American didn’t just always exist. They were shocked our country was so old. They were even more shocked that a black man, Crispus Attocks, was one of the first people to die in the Revolution. They thought America was just for white people. Then, we prayed as a family before we went to bed. 

The 21^st was a pretty good day. I woke up and prayed and tried to have quiet time. I wrote letters, blogged. Later that night I watched several episodes of 24, uploaded pictures, and addressed envelopes.

June 9-15

I got a good night’s sleep and had cookies and pancakes for breakfast. I left for the office early and watched youtube all day. It was so much fun. I had left over raisin bread for a mid-morning snack. I left with my ride at 4pm and had pasta and went to bed.

The 10^th was soooo cold. It is not fun to use the bathroom in the middle of the night with the freezing wind. It was an awesome day! I was so productive! I went to my office and planned a lot: community mapping, needs assessment, appreciative inquiry, youth questions, seasonal calendars, daily activity schedules, meetings, observations, youth projects, etc. It was the first day I worked all day! Lunch was really good. I stayed at the office late and watched Green Street Hooligans. I smsed some good friends too. I was so excited when I got a hold of a friend from grad school. It was exciting because she wants to go into PC or work in Africa for two years and then get her PhD, just like me! I never find people who are that like-minded. I also started talking about vacation ideas with my friend Kellie. It got me really excited too! Walking home from the office in the dark was stressful. I’m not afraid of the dark. I could not see how close to the highway I was with the glare of the cars’ headlights blinding me. Then, when I went off into the bush, I had animals follow me, although I didn’t know what kind they were. They were both dogs and the first one almost attacked. Not a fan of that. Anyways, I got home and ate some really really sandy porridge and spinach. Then I played an addicting restaurant game on my computer until 9:30pm.

The morning of the 11^th was so cold; it was miserable. I may have to buy another blanket. I wore my winter sweatshirt. I gathered my laundry and took it to the lady I pay to wash my clothes. Then I wrote my blogs for the two prior weeks. We finally got our HIV Rapid Testing equipment. We should have had it two years ago, but at least we have it now. I was very excited. It took a while to set up, but we finally finished. We had a number of prisoner’s show up with the police who needed to see the nurse, and when they saw the rapid testing stuff, they really wanted to get tested, which was very exciting. I had lunch and then went back to my office. We also got a new nurse today named Grace! She had just graduated from Rundu State Hospital. I had a really good talk with her. It was nice to be a “veteran”, although I have only been here a little more than a month. A little bit later, I was told a cow ate part of my blanket. I could have been upset, but I decided I couldn’t do anything about it, and just go with the flow. I also realized it sounded pretty funny. My best friend here finally got my letter! After work, I went home and had dinner. Then I went and watched an old college football game on my computer and played solitaire until 9:30pm.

Last night wasn’t nearly as cold as the nights before. It was really nice. My family gave me bread for breakfast. Then I walked to the primary school. I met some teachers and observed a class. We are so fortunate in America. There was one teacher and 52 students. They had to share one book between four people. There weren’t enough chairs so they sat on anything they could find. It was crowded and the classroom needs many repairs. I was very impressed that the students (called learners here) were really quiet, although this could be due to the teacher being the principal J. They talked about plants and the sea. After the class I waited for the 40 minute break to be over, then I met the Lifeskills teacher. She was so great! We talked about a lot of things and she said she’d love to have me help out or teach some classes. I went back to the clinic and ate a lot for lunch. My peanut butter jar that  had just bought that week is already half eaten. After work I went and showered at my supervisor’s then relaxed and watch some tv shows on my computer. I picked up my laundry and went home. I went to my hut early to read. Then I went to bed.

The 13^th was the beginning of one my most frustrating days I’ve had in Namibia and in my life. My host brother woke me up the night before saying I had a ride to Otjiwarongo at 5am the next morning! I was so excited because I didn’t have to hitchhike the 5 hour drive. He woke me up later saying it was going to be at 6am. I woke up and got ready really early. I checked with my host brother about the time and he said he’ll be here by 7am. 7am passed and he said 8 or 9. I decided to go hang out at my supervisor’s place at the clinic. I started to get frustrated around hour 5 of waiting. I kept smsing my host brother asking him where the guy was. He said over and over “he is coming.” Finally, I became absolutely furious as 1pm rolled around. My supervisor called my host brother and asked where the guy was and he said the guy would be around 3 or 4. The anger I felt was something I had felt few times before. I was furious because I could have hitchhiked 9 hours earlier and been at my destination about 7 hours earlier. I am also not supposed to travel after dark so I was angry that I might have to. I was also furious because several PCVs had to pass by my clinic on the way to the workshop I was going to, but I rejected their offers to pick me up because I thought I had a guaranteed free ride. I was okay with 5 hours of waiting because this is Africa time, but 9 hours was bad, even for Africa time. I ate so badly while I was waiting because I was stressed. I started walking down the highway and waited to be picked up. I was so thankful when a man pulled up and opened the door. I was so relieved to finally be on the road. He worked for the Regional Council and was on his way home to Mariental, very far south. We talked for a bit about his family. I was really impressed. All his daughters are brilliant and doing ambitious things such as studying in Russia to become a doctor. I loved that he was in a hurry because he majorly speeded (sped?). I got to Otjiwarongo in a very short amount of time, by 5:15. I was so relieved to get there and happy to see people. However, for some reason, I got really down. I’m almost positive it was due to the major roller coaster of extreme emotion I had gone through. I started to feel better. Dinner was good and it was great to eat in a nice place, at a table, with friends. By the way, there were about 25 PCVs there. After dinner, we went back to the hotel and hung out, talked, and relaxed. Then we went to bed.

I woke up pretty stressed on the 14^th. But the morning got better. The breakfast was awesome…except for the mystery meat which turned out to be liver and left a horrible aftertaste. I ate soooo much. Then we went to training. The training was on computers and information technology. It was awesome and really interesting! Tea time was great. We hadn’t seen the conference center in the day time, and it was beautiful! We had meatpies, juice, tea, and coffee. I made some new PCV friends. They are awesome! We ended training early and had a good dinner of giant meatballs and rice. The room we ate in was beautiful! After dinner I had a really good talk with my best friend here. The fun continued as we wait for the cars to come pick us up to take us back to the hotel. We watched people play Settlers of Catan and other games. I didn’t feel good the rest of the night and went to bed early.

On the 15^th, I woke up to an sms from another PCV who was throwing up every two hours from the food. I was really sad she was going to have to stay back and miss the training. However, breakfast was amazing again! This time, I got there first. We went into the dining room and I got bread, jelly, cornflakes with sugar, fish stix, sausage, and more…just before we were told our group had been moved to another dining room. I was stoked that we got to keep the food though! Training was amazing again, and I got a lot of awesome new software from different people. Tea time was good; I ate four sandwhiches. The weather was beautiful too! At the end of the day we did group presentations about what we had learned. It was pretty simple, and it went well. We finished 3 hours early and walked back to our hotel. On my way back I went and spent quite a bit of money buying food for my friend who was sick. I had so much fun doing it! I went back to her place and we hung out for the next four hours, watching movies and eating. I missed dinner because of it, but it was worth it. Another Group 37 PCV and I met with the Information and Communication Technology Committee because we were interested in joining. It was extremely exciting. Dave and I were the only new possible recruits, but I am definitely interested in joining. He and I talked for a long time with another PCV about the huge potential we saw in Namibia. It was an awesome day, and I went to bed quite content.

June 2-8

I got some really good sleep except that I had diarrhea five times. One major problem was that Gio’s water had to be switched off for the night…imagine not being able to flush the toilet or hydrate myself (yes, too much information, but this is my life now). I was really sad I missed the event last night, but I knew it was good that I stayed behind. I decided to stay in town another day after I called PC about my sickness. Later, I walked to the hotel. I bought some small gifts of food for the girls. The rest of the night was not my ideal hangout situation, but it was still good. The girls were tired so we just hung out and talked. I started to feel really sick and feverish. I went and ate dinner with them. I felt so miserable that I left at 9:30pm. I took a taxi and paid the expensive night-rate because I felt so sick.

I slept well except that I sweated so much from the fever that I had to wrap myself in my towels. I woke up on the morning of the 3^rd feeling great. I still had diarrhea, but little stomach pain and no fever. I was in a really good mood. I was a bit nervous to know if I would be allowed to attend a training in Ojtiwarongo in the coming weeks. I love trainings, but I also want to take advantage of every chance I get to see other PCVs. We also get to stay in lodging that has showers, running water, hot water, nice beds, electricity, free food, and possibly internet. All of these are a cause for celebration when you live in a hut. I walked to the PC Office and skyped Mom and Dad. I went shopping and price checked different stores. It was awful carrying all the groceries back to the office. Later, I received a call and was told that I would be added to the list of attendees for the training! I felt so good! I went to the market to meet Crystal and Alicia. We walked back to the office, but I had to leave abruptly, forgetting my computer charger in the process. I took a taxi to get to where my ride was waiting because I did not want to lug all my groceries by hand. The ride back was difficult because I was really down about something. I arrived at home and went to bed.

The morning of the 4^th was quite bad for a few hours. I woke up feeling really down. I got less down as the day went on. I think a lot of those feelings were because I had zero energy from fighting off my sickness, and I still had diarrhea. I went with my counterpart to the local school and met with the head lady for 2.5 hours or so. The conversation was very good and I know a lot more about the school and how I met work there. The head lady said I could go with her to a parent teacher meeting at the combined extension school in another village. Benhard and I walked back to the clinic, but my supervisor just let me sleep the rest of the afternoon because I had no energy. I went home with my host brother, but couldn’t eat. I did have an extremely candid conversation with a friend that made me feel really good!

I woke up feeling really good on the 5^th. I went to the clinic. To my utter delight, my supervisor had made cake. It was sooooo good! It tasted like cake from America, although it didn’t have frosting. I had a really good talk with a friend about not letting your fears control you. I never thought of it like that, but I see the sense in it. This conversation led me to decide that I WILL skydive during my time here in Namibia, even though I’m still quite afraid of it. I want to face that fear. If I can skydive, there is nothing I cannot do! Anyways, the headlady decided not to go to the meeting at the other school, but I really wanted to go. I was told by my counterpart that the school was only 3 kilometers away…11 kilometers later, I finally got there. Side note: Namibians are not known for being concise and accurate. Something that is 11 kilometers away can be “just up there.” I met a really nice guy named Joe on the way. He is a member of the Village Development Committee. He told me that one of the committees requests was to make a community garden. They have an excellent water source near the road, which I wish I had in my village. It was really cool to see somewhere new. The other school is only one class of 25, but they had a really good number of parents show up to the meeting. I introduced myself to the teacher, board member, and parents. The meeting started a hour late, which is pretty good, considering how meetings can start three or four hours late often. They made me sit up front. The meeting was about the level of fees and the cost of supplies. One note, the classroom is in a mud hut and is in major disrepair. The desks are extremely close and the children do not have the correct learning materials. During the meeting, I saw a bully of a kid smash another kid’s sand castle for not good reason. The smug look on his face was frustrating. I got some phone numbers from people, so I can visit later. A co-worker came by with a bike so I didn’t have to walk. I really appreciated it and thoroughly enjoyed the quick bike ride back to the clinic. The clinic was pure crazy when I got back. It was the busiest I have ever seen it. I did not realize it was the main day for HIV patients to see the doctor who visits once a month. I packed pills before and after lunch. I talked to my brother later and really enjoyed it. I ended up talking with Crystal for most of the rest of the evening about food such as frosting, cookie dough, brownie mix, mac and cheese, and melted ice cream. I went to bed at 7:30pm because I was so tired.

On the 6^th, I woke up in an amazing mood. I continued my sms conversation about food with Crystal. I am sad that a letter I sent her got lost in the mail. Two men came into the clinic, both with sever foot injuries. One had almost lost a toe from infection and the other had the portion of skin between his big toe and second toe severed. I did some research for some work I plan to do. A lot of people came in at one point during the day and I took weight and temperature. The local police force visited and it was really good to see them. I know several of them. Meanwhile, a baby with severe sickness came in. It almost died, but my supervisor saved it. The ambulance came from Rundu to get them. Later, I inventoried all the educational posters in the office. At one point, a young man came in, asking for counseling. I said we didn’t and we he left. I decided to get his phone number and find out for him. Then I decided to check him for suicide risk because he was distraught. I found that he was at risk, either for suicide or hurting someone else, but not immediately. Namibia does not have a mental healthcare system like the US, and the young man was not even from the area. I smsed another PCV and asked her to take care of it because he was in her region. I got him to promise not to do anything without talking to someone first. Meanwhile, I saw something that really messed with my sense of justice. A man ran over my friend’s fatcake bucket, from which she sells fat cakes to support her children. Although he was a teacher and has money, he refused to pay because it was an accident. They got in an argument, but the man just left without paying $3.60 USD it would have cost him. It frustrated me and made me sad. Another thing that was sad to me was how I saw a person make fun of a single father who took his child to the clinic. Men do not raise children here and there seems to be a stigma attached to it. I went home at 4 and read and wrote in my planner. I also made a pros/cons skydiving list. Here is what I came up with:

Cons                                                                                 Pros

Death                                                                               Facing fear

Extreme Stress on Way Up                                                Bucket List

Expensive                                                                        Bragging Rights

Fear                                                                                 I’m Competitive

Passing Out from Stress                                                    I’ll feel left out

                                                                                        I’ll have major regret

                                                                                        Empowerment (I can do anything)

                                                                                        I’ll be sad if I see everyone else do it

Later that night I had a conversation with my host family about the “N-word.” Some Namibians do not realize how bad that word is and what it is. They thought it meant cool. I explained to them why it was not cool. They asked why black people in America said it. I told them that the word should not even be said by black people because it makes others think that they are okay with being viewed as “less than equal” (as the n-word means). They seemed to understand and I went to bed soon after.

I didn’t sleep too well last night because of the mouse and lizard making noise in my room. I woke up for good on the 7^th and sat and relaxed for a while in my hut. I heard someone coming, but then I saw huge horns come through the door! It was a cow that wandered into my hut! It gave me quite a start and I chased it out! I went to Rundu to do some work. Later, I went to shop for groceries. Then I skyped mom and dad. I met a new PCV named Kyla. Bonnie, Denise, and Gio were there too and we had rice, peppers, onions, and soy sauce for dinner. I ate so much. We also had kettlecorn. Then, I went to bed.

I woke up feeling great on the morning of the 8^th, but was so hungry. I looked up skydiving videos and just watched youtube most of the day. It’s so relaxing to do stuff like that. I forgot it was Saturday momentarily. I got so hungry that I went out and binged on a huge, head-sized glazed raisin bread, pretzels, raisins, and a chicken burger. I wandered around the “mall” for a bit too. I think I was feeling a bit lonely too for some reason. I haven’t been homesick once, but I severely miss summer in America and the culture (which I never knew existed). I finished my book Pathfinder, and moved onto a Ken Follett series. Dinner was absolutely amazing! Kyla is an amazing cook! They forced me to cook and I did really well! I made scrambled eggs, peppers, and onions. It sounds like nothing, but that was huge for me because I am an awful cook. I don’t like eggs too much, but the peppers and onions added so much. Kyla and Denise made pancakes and they were so good! We had as many as we wanted. Kyla later made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I have a large appetite, but she made so many cookies and I ate so much dough that I actually stopped with many cookies to spare.  It was such a good night! Side note: I have found that when I go into town, I get extremely hungry. I crave chocolate and massive amounts of food. I have fallen in love with Cadbury’s Top Deck Mint Chocolate and can eat loads of it.