Recently, I have been thinking about the future. I have
been thinking about it a lot. As you can see, I have been looking up graduate
schools and making a thorough Outlook Calendar. I am a dreamer and I dream
daily about being done with Peace Corps Service. Some of you might think that I
am not liking my time here, or that I am regretting my decision to join Peace
Corps. This is not the case in any way. There are many reasons I am so focused
on the future. First of all, I am a dreamer. I have spent several days of my
life just dreaming. This is a weakness because it causes me to not live in the
moment. However, I have improved in this area, and I don’t dream as much as
usual. The positive side to dreaming is that it makes me excited and optimistic
about the future.
Another reason I am focused on the future is that I have
been restless since senior year of undergrad at APU. I moved to Ohio for grad
school, and had a wonderful experience. I was still restless so I joined the
Peace Corps. I am now on my seventh month in Namibia and I feel restless. I
mentioned how I was restless since Senior year of college, but there has been
one habit of mine that shows that I have had the feeling of always being in
transition earlier than Senior year. I have never made a home to entertain
others. In undergrad and grad school, I didn’t buy furniture. The reason for
this was that I never felt I would be in a place long enough to make an
investment in furniture and other decorations worthwhile. I wonder how long it
will be until I feel ready to make those investments, possibly when I get a
girlfriend and get married?
The third reason that I am so focused on the future is
that Peace Corps Service is not easy. It has been a very challenging
experience. It takes enormous amounts of energy to just get through the day.
The heat takes it out of a person and makes one want to stay inside the clinic
where it is relatively cool and comfortable. It is not easy to always be stared
at or to have to say hello to every
single person that crosses your path, stranger or friend. One misses
people who share the same values and speak English well. I miss the calibre of
discussion that I had at APU and Case Western Reserve University. I miss my
friends and family and all the fun things we would do. I miss having
electricity, running water, flush toilets, a shower, and HOT water. One of the
most important things I miss is the food! I am not saying that things are awful
here. Life is actually quite good. I knew I would face these challenges, and I
am happy with them because they are making me trust God more and grow in many
ways. I am saying that I look forward to a whole host of new experiences and
different challenges. Peace Corps is an endurance/perserverance test. I don’t
want it to be over because I have many amazing things to experience such as
getting to know my host families better, vacationing in Namibia, visiting
Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe/Zambia, traveling to Cape Town, and making new
friends wherever I go. I do want PC service to go fast because I can always
extend if I love it that much.
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